Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
