he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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