alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
