She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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