Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
