I accidentally burped into my bong.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
