Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
