There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
