i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
