I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
