oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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