oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
