I just made out with a guy for $7.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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