he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
