her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
