that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize