Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
