she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
