Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
