i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
