There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
