who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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