I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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