I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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