What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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