I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Also, beer. Big fan.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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