She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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