I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
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