"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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