Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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