4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize