How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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