I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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