Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
