dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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