i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
