After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
