my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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