speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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