You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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