i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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