He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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