You really coming over, don't trick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
