Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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