mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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