Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
