did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
