I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
