Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think my fart just growled at me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
