your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You don't make any sense
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