I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
