I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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