I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
