I wish my penis had an off switch
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
