Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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