in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
