Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
