I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
