If i come over, it means nothing
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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