Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
