Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
