It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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