I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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