why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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