I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
